EP 20: Friendship Through COVID

We've all been through it and we're all still going through the pandemic. So we're exploring how our relationships were pre-pandemic and during the pandemic. Have they changed? Have they stayed the same? Have you dropped some, unintentionally?  Or was it intentional? Like many, we all tried different things to connect with the people we love the most during the pandemic and we were able to learn more about each other than we did in the years we've been friends. So take a listen and share your experiences on our social media pages. 

Transcript

 [00:00:00] Hey, y'all welcome to United AF. As friends podcast, a show where we try to unravel the complexities of our multicultural friendship and existing as millennials in today's world every other week, we'll get together for a deep dive into how our friendship has survived and have some laughs while doing it.

We're your hosts, Amanda Justine and Taylor.

So welcome to another episode of United as friends. And today we're going to be talking about friendship through COVID. We're going to see how it was pre COVID up to now, of course, now that we've been in the pandemic for a year and some months. How it's changed, what stayed the same, et cetera. Your eye 

Taylor: [00:00:48] cat was behind me. 

Justine: [00:00:50] This is just distracting me.

Taylor: [00:00:52] Are you distracted them? 

Justine: [00:00:54] It was your bug eyes, not Mal's bug eyes.  It was yours. 

Oh, sorry,my bad. Because 

Taylor: [00:01:04] I could see her behind me and the shirt coming down at her and the cat bite me continue. Okay. We got this. Sorry, but obviously we can't use this. 

Justine: [00:01:20] Let's talk a little bit more of the, of our friendship. I know we talked about our. How we all met and you can go listen to that episode. One. How in the hell did we become friends? If you haven't heard that story, it's a great story. Amanda's a great storyteller.

Taylor: [00:01:42] very underrated storyteller. I don't think people understand just how amazing Amanda is. 

Justine: [00:01:47] Yeah. Taylor likes to leave out details. Jason Mamoa story. But anyways, so yeah, if you haven't heard how we became friends, go to go and listen to episode one. But let's talk about our friendship. How would you describe our friendship and our interactions with each other?

 Amanda: [00:02:14] I would say we are, we're not the type of friends to constantly talk to each other, but when we need to have a conversation, we're there we're present. More. We're not like. How do I explain this? I don't even know. 

Justine: [00:02:34] And I feel like it's a talk we're dinner, buddy. 

Amanda: [00:02:37] Meaningful. We are dinner buddies. 

Justine: [00:02:39] Yeah. When I was in Jersey, I would always ring up everybody to have dinner. Because I never cook and I was always bored. 

Amanda: [00:02:49] Yeah. We're definitely dinner and drinking buddies.

Taylor: [00:02:53] But you can't just say that, like we do, we try to do stuff 

Amanda: [00:02:58] now we do it too. We ha we're very chill people. We're not the types of we have to go on an adventure or something now we're very much like home bodies. You can go to someone's house and just chill and have a good meal. Have a good conversation. A lots of laughs. Lots of l I'm just remembering the night at Tiffany's. I was just we could not stop. 

Justine: [00:03:26] That's a good game. What game? What was the first game that we were playing?

Taylor: [00:03:29] Dirty things, dirty minds, 

Justine: [00:03:32] no dirty minds is a different. Cause you gave me 

Taylor: [00:03:34] nasty things, dirty minds. I love the same thing. 

Justine: [00:03:37] I love how  most of our answers were not nasty or dirty, like

Taylor: [00:03:50] We became adults too fast. I think that's our problem. 

Justine: [00:03:55] So I do want to add talk about that. Like becoming an adult too fast, you said that's a problem. Can you elaborate on your thought? 

Taylor: [00:04:06] I know myself,  sometimes I'm too serious and I feel like that's a common thread with us in comparison to other people, our age, we were very like, okay, we need to do this. And not to say that it's okay. Like it's like one of those, it's a double-edged sword type thing and that we're focused, we're career driven, career minded, and we know what we want. We're like, okay, we're not gonna put up with this. We're not gonna put up with that. But then we're like, when you have these people who are. Oh my God guys. Let's just go do this. We're like no. We have to plan this. I got to make sure I've had enough rest. I can't, I have something to do the day before. I'm sorry. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not coming. Like other people are more spot. I feel like other people are more spontaneous than we are. And we're like the, we tried the going to clubs thing we did. Yeah. A little bit when we were of the age, but we're like, not us, that's not us. We're like we're lounge people 

Justine: [00:05:03] but also with our  personality types. We would be the planner versus the, but you guys were listed as turbulent people. I would feel like you would be okay with just doing spontaneous things.

Taylor: [00:05:19] I am okay. Like I do spontaneous things, but the caveat is it has to be within my comfort zone for that day. If you want me to go, let's go to the movies or something like that. I was like, okay. That's in my wheelhouse of, okay. Spontaneous. I can do that. That's only going to mess up two hours of my day. Yeah. But guys, let's go home. You have to tell me that days at advanced, I am not just going to be like, okay, let's go. That's a, I need to, my body needs to be ready. I need to be mentally in the Headspace to be like, okay, I'm going to go out in nature. I know where my sunblock is. I got long sleeves. I don't know what to rain we're going to be in. But nah, let's just go. There are levels to my spontaneity. And I am not jumping out a note. I'm not skydiving with nobody. Oh my God, let's go. What was it? I think it was, will Smith talked about or. Some famous person was interacted with Will Smith. And they were like, okay, tomorrow we're going to look, let's just go skydiving. And they were like, okay. Yeah. And they didn't think it was really going to happen. And then the next day he was like, yeah. So let's go. And that person's hold on. I made that decision when I was drunk and like all this stuff, but he's no, let's just do it. I'm not that person. I'm not going skydiving with a buddy like that. That's a, we have to work up to that time. Yeah, I feel like we're very, I guess it's a maturity level type thing in that we want to do things, but we don't want to, I guess we don't want to cha it's not, no, it's not like chopping up the water, but I'm gonna figure out what it is.  But okay. No. When we hang out, it's not like back to back things in the, we'll go out for a day and we'll stay out till one in the morning, but then we're not going to do it again for two months. It's not like other people who are friends are like, yeah, I just saw you on Thursday. We stayed out till one in the morning. It's Friday. What are we doing? We're like, all right, I'll see you guys. But I think it's, we're comfortable enough in our friendship that we fill up the interaction meters that we have. So like that cup is since we hung out with each other last week before Justine went back to London, we're good for we're like at 89% of having to interact with each other. In face-to-face, we're good for now. We don't have to, unless it's like, God, one of us is okay guys, I'm feeling really down or I'm really lonely. Let's go do something. The rest of us are like, we're good for a month have now or 

Justine: [00:08:03] the next let's go to brunch 

Taylor: [00:08:07] amanda, do you have anything to say since I just talked for four years? 

Amanda: [00:08:11] No. I mean you, that was basically it. We are just the type to hang when we need it. We don't need to be constantly seeing one another. 

Justine: [00:08:23] Or even, I think you mentioned this earlier, even talking to each other, when was the last time I'm looking on our WhatsApp? When was the last time that we said something on the chat, which was yesterday and  Taylor was the one who had posed or wrote something. I was the only one who responded with the word damn. we don't need that much interactions either. 

Taylor: [00:08:52] Yeah, cause even with your thing about Versailles, you said that like on Thursday said nothing, but then we brought it up, then they're like, ah, I don't have to respond. But I feel like there are certain friendships do that where you don't have to all be all up in each other's business. So it worked, it works for us. We have this stuff and it's sitting there and we all know we've seen it with the exception of maybe Amanda, because I feel like your job is the, as crazy as all of our jobs are. I think yours is the most insane. So you're the last one, because we're like, is Amanda breathing, has anybody heard from her? She hasn't responded on anything. That's in the back of that. I was like, give it this is what Amanda does. Yeah. Life and her job. So 

Justine: [00:09:45] it's funny because I, yeah, when you say that and I, and Amanda doesn't respond, I'm like, she's, she is busy. She's got work, whatever. But when Taylor doesn't respond, I'm like, oh, Taylor's probably sleeping.

Taylor: [00:10:06] That's so true. Absolutely. I'm like guys, I can't, I come home from work and I take a shower. Sometimes I eat and I'm just like I'm tired. I'm going to sleep somebody sometimes I'll wake me up for dinner. Sometimes they give up after I say, yeah, I'm coming down three times and then don't come downstairs for dinner. Like it happens.

Justine: [00:10:28] I think that's okay too, because then I for, I don't know, like what I feel like sometimes when you just chat so much with each other, there's nothing to catch up on. There's nothing to talk about. So I like that we. Barely chat with each other on  WhatsApp. And I've really looked forward to whether that's pre-planning or recording. I look forward to the conversations that we have, cause that's like we do a little bit of catch-up, which is that seven minute bullshit that we just did to, just to talking about whatever the topic is. So I actually, it makes me look forward to seeing you guys and catching up and all of that stuff. Versus oh gosh, I don't know. Talking to you every day. I feel like I don't, I wouldn't know what to talk about. 

Taylor: [00:11:18] I feel like the only thing we'd have to talk. I always say I'd have to talk about his work and I feel shitty. Bitching and moaning about it because everybody has to work, get over yourself. Why are you complaining today? And I have, that's what I have decompressing moments at dinner with my family for. So I don't, you guys, aren't my outlet for that. Why would I, unless it's  something funny or interesting happened, why would I waste my time with you guys on that? 

Justine: [00:11:44] But when I, so I used to think about that and I would hate. I wouldn't like it when people talk about work because like work is work and it's every day, but people need to vent out their frustrations to somebody else. And they might, may not have that specific avenue. So friends would probably be, one avenue, family, like you have Taylor. So I would be more comfortable with somebody venting to me about their job, because again, they might not have that avenue to vent out.

Taylor: [00:12:15] And that's completely valid. 

Amanda: [00:12:18] So next time you're with us, you can talk about work. So can you, Amanda, even though Amanda talks to us about her work most of the time. 

Taylor: [00:12:26] Yeah, I think we have the most

Justine: [00:12:34] oh yes. Your job is very funny. It's a soap opera. 

Amanda: [00:12:38] Yes. It is not so much now because we're not all in the office anymore to, for drama to occur 

Taylor: [00:12:44] but you still have plenty going on. 

Justine: [00:12:55] How did our friendship shift with the start of the pandemic? 

Amanda: [00:13:00] I would say we got a little bit closer. didn't we?. Cause at the side of pandemic, we had weekly video chats and I think a big part of that was mainly just so we'd have some interaction outside of our homes, but yeah, no,  with our chat catch-ups and everything, we just learned a bit more about each other over time, and I think that's what started this whole podcast, too.

Justine: [00:13:22] How did we even say Hey, let's have weekly. Catch-ups like, was it because we were all worried with each other? I don't even remember how that officially got started. 

Taylor: [00:13:33] I just think we need it. We just needed to talk to each other. And like Amanda said, we were all, everybody was holed up with their families and we were like we're and we were all still working in the pandemic at that point.

Amanda: [00:13:49] Yeah. And then, we were doing everything through chat and it was like really hard trying to write out these long paragraphs.So I think at some point we just decided let's just do a video call. 

Justine: [00:14:03] It's also funny that we don't use voice notes when we could have used that. Does that say how old we are that we don't use voice now?

Taylor: [00:14:13] No, because my coworkers use voice notes in they're older than we are. 

Justine: [00:14:17] Oh, okay. 

Amanda: [00:14:20] That's probably worse.  

Taylor: [00:14:22] No, that's a lie. You and Tiffany used voice messages. Just me and Amanda. Don't. Yeah. We're like, we're going to type it or you're going to hear it straight from our mouth via call. 

Justine: [00:14:37] I, but I only use voice notes if it's a really long message and it's just so much easier to put it in a voice note versus actually typing. Tiffany does like what less than five seconds or whatever. I don't know. 

Taylor: [00:14:52] Text messages though.

Justine: [00:14:57] in one paragraph, 

Taylor: [00:15:00] but she's making a statement when she does it though. 

Justine: [00:15:03] What's the statement? 

Taylor: [00:15:05] I don't know. She's like, okay. And then she'll go with it. And I could see in the back of my head, I can visually see her doing it because she's typing, like she talks. So in that moment, I'm like, okay, I can see the energy. I can see her facial expressions come through in it. It makes 

Justine: [00:15:23] okay. I don't think about her facial expressions. I'm more just like, why don't you put it all on one paragraph. 

Taylor: [00:15:33] You're mad at the way. You're focused on the aesthetics of the text message. It's 

Justine: [00:15:37] I guess it goes back to 10 cents per text message and you're only doing okay. 

Taylor: [00:15:45] I was thinking that I was like, we are not in early 2000 anymore. 

Justine: [00:15:48] I know we're not even paying for text messages anymore.   So we were doing the weekly The weekly calls and that was fun. 

Amanda: [00:16:00] That was, and then we had like little activity that we did, right? Like the first one I think was the wine puzzle? 

Taylor: [00:16:06] Wine  night was first. Oh yeah, one night he had the bottle.

Amanda: [00:16:12] Oh yes and we were all just like alcoholics. 

Justine: [00:16:17] I think my aunt at that time, 

Taylor: [00:16:20] no. California? 

Amanda: [00:16:25] No, she was at her aunt's I remember this at least one of those wine nights we had, she was at our aunt's because I remember they didn't, she, I want you didn't have an actual wine glass. So you took like a regular glass. 

Justine: [00:16:38] Okay. Yeah. They have like paper and styrofoam cups so bad for the environment, but.

Taylor: [00:16:45] I swore you were in Cali for the first one. 

Amanda: [00:16:48] I, for maybe for the first one 

Justine: [00:16:50] Can't even remember when we officially, what month we officially started by. I 

Taylor: [00:16:55] think we started in March 

Justine: [00:16:57] early March. Yeah. Because then I had to fly home for my mom. And that's why it ended. I think probably we had one when I was in LA one or two. And then I was in New Jersey when my mom passed. And so that's when we had the wine. 

Taylor: [00:17:13] Yeah. Then Amanda got us puzzles. 

Justine: [00:17:15] Yes, 

Taylor: [00:17:18] we sat there doing puzzles. Yes. A lot of them. And it took for ever that was one. We kept doing nights to get us through to damn puzzle.

Justine: [00:17:28] Do you want me to have, we have multiple calls in a week or just every week we just said, 

Taylor: [00:17:34] Amanda blasts through her blasted through her puzzle when the rest of us were like, okay, we're going to just stop here. And we're going to pick back up the next time. We'd talk. Amanda's no, I need to finish this. I need to finish this now. And I feel like we all learned about. 

Amanda: [00:17:48] I did actually wait. It 

Justine: [00:17:51] took like a, what? Less than a week for you to complete it? I think I did a week and a half. Oh, I 

Taylor: [00:17:57] took three weeks to finish that,

Justine: [00:18:03] but yeah. How long did it take for you to finish Amanda? 

Taylor: [00:18:06] A day and a half. 

Amanda: [00:18:07] Cause I waited. I was trying to let everybody get some progress. So I like stopped working on it for two, three days. And then it took me like maybe a day and a half after that. So like a week

Justine: [00:18:26] if you don't count the days. 

Taylor: [00:18:30] Three days. No, but I feel like in, in us having these calls and stuff, we, like Amanda said, we did learn so much about us because I didn't know that she was as much of a puzzle master as she is. You had a circular puzzle that you were doing 

Justine: [00:18:48] that 

Taylor: [00:18:48] one. That one. So you did that first and then you got us the puzzles.

Amanda: [00:18:53] Yes. Yeah. 

Justine: [00:18:56] Okay, 

Amanda: [00:18:57] easy one. That was only like 500 pieces. 

Justine: [00:19:03] I thought it was 1000. 

Taylor: [00:19:04] No. The one she gave us was 500 pieces. It wasn't like, oh yes. And still so forever to finish them. Yes. That's we cut 

Justine: [00:19:14] 500 pieces 

Taylor: [00:19:16] and the issue is we wear black. There were a lot of pictures. Okay, hold on. So we gotta say that it's she got us, these custom puzzles of pictures of us, all four of us together. Yeah. They're in different things in a collage. And the one thing we definitely learned from it is that all four of us were way too much black when we were together because 75% of the picture. We were wearing black. And so you spend all this time trying to figure out, okay, does this black face go here to go here, or here? And when you're at the beginning of your puzzle, all the black pieces go everywhere. So I just took forever. And Amanda wore, I think. And you wore a red shirt 

Amanda: [00:19:58] pictures. 

Taylor: [00:20:00] Yeah. That didn't help either. 

Justine: [00:20:04] So from then we were like, okay, let's stop wearing black, which has not done. We have

Taylor: [00:20:15] now we're all . Yes, we are. 

Justine: [00:20:20] We can't get away from it.

2022 goals wear 

Taylor: [00:20:25] color, 

which 

Justine: [00:20:28] was initially our 2021 

it's. 

Taylor: [00:20:31] Okay. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. I have to do better 

Justine: [00:20:34] next year. You know what? I can't believe already halfway through the year, almost halfway through the year  

Taylor: [00:20:40] I had started thinking about what you guys want for Christmas now.

God, I can't believe it's already fricking that's ridiculous. That's crazy time. 

Good do it. Do yo the month you were here started and ended. I swear in two days 

Amanda: [00:20:57] I 

Taylor: [00:20:57] was like Justine just got here Justine's leaving. 

Justine: [00:21:00] When you have so many things planned, it just goes so quickly. But if you don't have anything planned, it's like, when is the day over

Taylor: [00:21:12] I haven't felt that way since 2007. To be honest, I haven't had, I felt like I haven't had a day where it's just nothing's happening. I guess that's a sign of us getting older because I had to ask, I was like, yo, why does time fly so much faster now than when we were younger? And everybody's just what do you get older life just goes by so fast. 

Justine: [00:21:37] Is it because we're not really being in that moment and enjoying it or it's just our lives. Just like the next item. Next item. Or is it both? 

Taylor: [00:21:47] I think it's a little column. A little column B 

Justine: [00:21:56] So let's see, going back to the things that we did puzzles and then we had Amanda's birthday during the pandemic as well. That was the first person who had the birthday during the day. 

Amanda: [00:22:08] Yeah. That was what was it? We did a, we watched Beetlejuice together, but like virtually 

Taylor: [00:22:14] Everybody did food and drinks and we're like, okay, let's watch it together over zoom. And that was fun. Yeah. Did you enjoy yourself? 

Amanda: [00:22:26] I enjoyed it.

Taylor: [00:22:27] And then did you enjoy yourself? Yeah, 

Justine: [00:22:30] I forgot that I saw Beetlejuice at a drive in theater earlier that year. I think Or probably a little bit before and I'm like, oh yeah, I totally forgot. I did that. 

Taylor: [00:22:44] Yeah, no, I had never seen the movie, but I had gone and seen the play with Amanda and her sister and her friend. It was cool.

Justine: [00:22:51] Really? I didn't know you  didn't see the movie. 

Taylor: [00:22:55] It's weird.  In my house, Tim Burton,  there's not really like Tim Burton fans. Cause my family is not into it. You like the odd movie? That's just me. Normally. I'm the one that watches the weird stuff. So like Edward Scissor hands, The Nightmare Before Christmas, I only watched the Nightmare Before Christmas when we had to at school. Yeah, when you were like Beetlejuice I was like, okay, I'll go see it. People seem to like it. 

Justine: [00:23:20] So how was, is it's like the book versus the movie. So how was the movie versus to play? Because, I didn't see finding Neverland the play and I refused to see it because I'm like no. You can't mess up the film.

Amanda: [00:23:39] There were certain parts that were similar and others that were just totally different. I think in the play, the ends of it Beetlejuice becomes like the heat. But in the movie he's villian, 100%.Okay. 

Taylor: [00:23:51] No, I think he's still the villain to me was still the villain because at the end of the class, 

Amanda: [00:23:56] but at the end of it, what was it? He helped them get rid of the bad stuff. There was at the end of the play. He helped the Deetzs. I want to say that with him. 

Taylor: [00:24:08] Didn't they trap him like spoiler alert to anybody who wants to actually go see it, even though it's off Broadway in the United States, but didn't, they banish him. That was the, they did the fake wedding to send him back to his mother. 

Justine: [00:24:22] And, but wait, so in here he has a mother. 

Amanda: [00:24:26] Yes. His mother is the. 

Taylor: [00:24:30] The chick that has a cigarette smoke coming 

Justine: [00:24:32] out.  interesting. Okay. 

Amanda: [00:24:36] Then the movie that's obviously not true. Yeah. And but in writing, I thought  he saved the day. I remember that at the end of the play he saved now. Now I gotta freaking Google this shit. 

Justine: [00:24:50] But Taylor, how did you feel between movie and play? 

Taylor: [00:24:56] I'm, I like the play better because of the musical element to it. And I also saw it first. So normally, the thing you see first, normally has the bigger lasting impression on it. I really liked the music.  

Amanda: [00:25:08] They were things that I would change in the play, but the play was so good. The music was awesome. 

Justine: [00:25:11] Okay.  And then it was Taylor's birthday. We did paint by numbers. Which I also really fun activity, which then we ended up finishing at Amanda's place because I had come, we, 

Amanda: [00:25:26] we started in 

Justine: [00:25:28] oh, okay. So have the other way around. Okay. So yeah, we started it at Amanda. Place we were celebrating and having a potluck at the same time. Cause I was visiting again before I had flown out to London and then. Finished. Yeah, I had to finish it before I went. 

Taylor: [00:25:47] Before you flew back, he gave it to me. Yeah. I still haven't finished mine, which is hysterical. Oh, come on. 

Justine: [00:25:55] Oh gosh, 

Taylor: [00:25:56] maybe I'll do that. Look, the summer is coming. School's almost over.

Justine: [00:25:59] It's almost been a year.

Taylor: [00:26:05] Okay. Having space to paint and all of that with a cat in the house is not as easy as it sounds. 

Justine: [00:26:12] No, that's, you're completely right. But that was another fun activity. And I don't know if that is the hobby of yours Taylor, but I know Amanda, you're you like the paint thingy, paint drink and paint. What is it called? 

Amanda: [00:26:25] Oh, oh, painting. 

Justine: [00:26:28] Yeah, something 

Amanda: [00:26:29] like that. I've done a few of those. 

Taylor: [00:26:31] We did one for your graduation. 

Amanda: [00:26:34] Yes. Yes, we did. Forgot about that. Yeah, we did. it's actually not that hard when you have someone going step by step and if you mess it up, they will fix it for you. 

Justine: [00:26:45] Okay. This is still something I need to try. 

Amanda: [00:26:49] I'm sure they have it in London.

Taylor: [00:26:52] I would say it's what's Pinos palette is one, 

Justine: [00:26:56] but Taylor, do you like to paint too? Cause you did the or color you. I feel like I 

Taylor: [00:27:01] do. I have. Okay. My thing is I'm one of those with an adult coloring book when I'm pissed off at something. I've got one of those and I'm like, I'm going to sit here and I'm going to color.  But that also stems from my childhood where they had to keep me occupied again, I had tons of coloring books and it just I got, we got to the adult part where it's like, Ooh, mandalas let's color these in. And they look pretty and stuff like that. I haven't done that a very long time and they're just staring at me like, Hey, 

Justine: [00:27:31] does that mean that you haven't been angry, 

Taylor: [00:27:36] definitely be an angry and stressed. I've just had to do other things like I've been crocheting a ton recently. I think that also helped,  when we went through that patch where everybody was having babies and I bought a shit ton of yard, I was just sitting there and I would be I'd crochet a hat. I'd do a blanket.  I'd just sit and I have to keep my hands busy or else I'm going. Do. Strangle someone essentially, we don't want that to happen 

Justine: [00:28:02] No we don't.  So we did a bunch of, other than, doing the weekly calls then shifted and doing some of the activities. I think that was really fun too, just so that we can. Do something else other than chat. Cause sometimes it would be like, oh, what else is new? It, during a pandemic, nothing is really new. 

Taylor: [00:28:21] Yeah. I mean we did high tea for your 

Justine: [00:28:22] birthday. Yeah, we did. We did. That was fun. Birthdays are fun. 

How has this shift affected our relationship?

Taylor: [00:28:39] I really don't think it affects, I don't think it affected our relationship the way it did other people's because we already didn't physically interact with each other. A lot. Most of our interaction was through text message. I, it made us look at each other more on the video calls. I think that's, as far as it goes, 

Justine: [00:29:00] I think we're, we were also forced to talk more because even with just texting right, a whole week or week and a half, whatever can go by and nobody's saying anything, and this is oh, Hey guys, we actually do need to talk. We do need to say hello to each other and communicate a little bit more. Yeah, I think that Amanda, you're going to say something. 

Amanda: [00:29:23] No, I was just going to agree because it really hasn't changed too much because again, we hardly ever did see or speak to each other. It was like a once in a, every two or three months type of thing, sometimes even longer for being honest. Yeah. Yeah. Not much it was changed. It didn't, the pandemic didn't break us apart or anything. I'd say maybe got a little bit closer. Like I said, with the, when we would have the virtual chats and stuff, I feel like we had some deep combos. But yeah, it wasn't it wasn't like a significant. Change to how we interacted or anything. 

Justine: [00:30:00] And just because it is, we're talking about COVID, I don't think many of our conversations were about the pandemic. I think, in the beginning, when it first started, we were checking up on each other to make sure that everyone is okay, but. I don't think we've had many conversations on how the pandemic has affected us emotionally. I know Taylor that you shared yours, in one of the podcast episodes, but as our weekly calls, I don't feel like  we talked about how it's affected us emotionally, physically, mentally, whatever 

Taylor: [00:30:34] I think we use those calls as escapes. So why would we talk about the stuff that's we, if we didn't want to have those moments of weakness or pain or what was the Justine you were the one in vulnerability. That was the word cause you had, that was one of the things. In starting this podcast and having all of those conversations. One of you did say you had never felt like it was okay to be vulnerable around us. And in hindsight, I feel like all of us didn't really feel that way. It's not that we didn't feel safe with each other or anything. It's just that we each had a facade, a persona that we showed each other all the time and then we're like, okay, Maybe this is we can evolve to the next level and be like, okay, it's fine. If I'm a cry in front of y'all for two minutes, because I haven't been hugged for a year. Like I see people dying.  Or  people around me or these people are getting COVID people aren't taking it seriously. And I'm frustrated that they don't get it like those in those moments. I think we finally. Open up to each other. 

Justine: [00:31:46] Yeah. I think it's a little bit more and more where, especially for me, like you had mentioned I am becoming much more okay. With being vulnerable in front of you guys. But I'm still there. It's just so slowly. Opening up. So yeah, I think I'm eventually we'll get there 

Taylor: [00:32:12] baby steps.

Justine: [00:32:14] Has the pandemic changed your other friendships or relationships? 

Amanda: [00:32:19] The only other relations that have we either with my coworkers or my family and in terms of my family during COVID, because they literally, they were like stuck in this house. They were the only ones I interacted with, like physically for Ong as time that it got so far where they would just, they annoyed me. I kinda started hiding in my room just because. While I'm not that confrontational because I know how my family is, I just know, okay, just walk away. Don't deal with it. Whatever. But others in my family would be like, head-on like butt heads. And so the fighting was so real in this house. I had to like, just close myself my door and just be like, I'm not dealing with anybody. Turn on his TV, put the volume up. Don't deal with nobody. That was pretty much the majority of the interaction with my family. Cause I just couldn't deal with them anymore. But then, once it slowly started opening up, but I'm still going back to my job. I realized how the interact,  the relationship with my coworkers were so crucial. I didn't realize that until I went back  and also the first day I was at, like through the first half of the day was spent just bullshitting with everybody because it was just like, Oh, my God, I haven't spoken to anybody else in a while. I haven't physically been near anyone in a while, even though, we weren't really physically close. We had to keep that six feet, but it was just another person in that space, just even if it was not like, not that I would ever be close like that with any of my neighbors, coworkers, but still it was just, You just don't realize the type of interactions you need until they're not there. But in terms of relationships, I would say got closer with my coworkers. With this whole pandemic,  I started talking to them a lot more started bullshitting with them a lot more, being more friendlier, not that I was. A bitch or anything. I know that's what everyone thinks, but I really wasn't. I swear.  And then with my family, it was more of a whooo I can't be around you guys all the time.

Justine: [00:34:21] Taylor

Taylor: [00:34:22] Okay. So with the pandemic, everything that was going on here at the same time was COVID and people were coming out of nowhere, checking up on through me, checking up on Malori. Because she was working in a hospital, she's a respiratory therapist. She's in there with COVID patients.  They were checking in with me to see how she was doing. And then all of a sudden it was  George Floyd happened and Brianna Taylor happened and all of that. So then it switched over to, are you okay? Is everything good? So people were coming out of the woodwork and I'm like, interesting. What makes people reach out to you? People I hadn't talked to in a while,  I'm talking to them now that I hadn't talked to in awhile and just a lot of my friendships are like us where I can talk to somebody and then not have an interaction with them for seven months. And then pickup, the same conversation we were having seven months ago. So now  I'll do mental health check-ins with people. If I haven't heard from someone in awhile and they flip into my mind. Where I used to let it go. Now I'm like, okay, I have to check in with that person because we saw in this past year, not to say that I never, I didn't know like how fleeting life was and stuff like that, but I wasn't a person who would like, I'm going to reach out and talk to him. I'm more active in maintaining those relationships. Now, when someone crosses my mind, I will reach out and see okay, how are you? How's your family? How's mom. How's dad house. How's your cousins. With my coworkers, because we went remote the day, the 16th of March last year. And then we were all home until I started going in one day a week. I was the only person going into the building one day a week because parents had to come in and they had to get paperwork for their kids. They had to make payments and stuff like that. It was to me in the back of my head, I was telling myself I'm like, this is just like the summer. It's just like the summer. It's not going to be forever. And then I went a whole summer. So from March to August, until I really saw outside of the immediate team, because we had to get together for the COVID relief plan for the next school year. I didn't see any of these people. Other than on zoom calls, we had tons of zoom calls as a whole staff. And it was like how we start here, where it's seven minutes of us talking to each other, bullshitting stuff about everything else. Imagine that with 50 people, that's how our staff meetings would start. So before the principal would get us in, then everyone's oh my God, it's so nice to see you. Dah, dah, Dah. The whole reason I bought a lamp for this basement is because of those zoom calls because. My boss would make fun of me. And she's Taylor, why are you in the dark? I'm like the lights on she's like, none of us could see you. She was like, I'm going to send the she was at a seminar CEO, COO, he's got a construction company. She's I'm gonna have him put lights in your basement for you. I was like, I'm gonna buy a lamp. But like those type of little jokes and things were still happening. And I was like, I missed them. Then this. Went back in S and the week before for teachers, we can everything. And everybody was just like, I want to hug you, but we still can't. Cause it's still before we're still getting, everybody's got to get a nasal swab. This is still before you can hug people. And like we're big huggers and there is no vaccine yet. Okay. Six feet away. Our staff meetings are in the parking lot now as opposed to in a classroom. All of that was weird. It, it just felt surreal. Like those relationships that we had built, and this is my eighth year there in being able to see each other and ask about you don't even it's that the unknown was still there. So you're like, huh. Okay. Then you move a little further. Then we go remote again. And me and the business manager, the only ones coming in. So the two of us, our relationship, I think, has gotten stronger and stronger over this year. But then we got to a point where we were doing our work so fast. Then we were talking to each other, but then when the people came back, it was really weird when the students came back this last time in May, we were like, we need the people to leave because we can't get anything done anymore. It's been, we're happy that the people were, we were like, we're really happy they're back. But at the same time, we're like, it was, we liked it when you guys weren't here when you guys were remote. But I think that we're all so invested in each other's lives. That even it's a weird strain in the relationship to go from, see each other all the time to not see each other all the time. At work, you spend more time seeing your coworkers than you see your family. They become your family. No matter how hard like Amanda, you were saying, you're not going to get close to these people regardless. They're still, they may not be. You may not be close to them, but they're still a huge factor in your routine. And that shift in the routine really did affect me. I will say that because, like I said, I'm a tactile, I'm a hugger. I'm a. How's your mom type person. I'm like, I need to know. I need to know I'm nosy. I want to know, but not being able to do that. It's I'm talking to myself over and over again and it feels it's that shift in your mental health in there's something I'm missing, but I just can't put my finger on it. So I'm hoping fingers and toes cross that when we come back again in September it's an even keel. Everything will be back together. Everything will be back to normal, quote, unquote normal, because it's not going to be the same type of normal ever again, because we've gone through a pandemic. But yeah, so that's where I am. 

So for my family, it was interesting because we went into  a state of unknown. You can't touch each other. You don't want to infect each other. You don't know what you're bringing from the inside to the outside. So when we first went on locked down, it was okay. It can take two weeks for it to manifest. So we did the first quarantine in essentially that nobody was going to be within six feet of my mom. Cause we don't know what we're bringing from the outside world. And then when I had been home and not leaving other than going, no, because that's when the masks got mandated, that was when we put a Chi bash on it. So when we first shut down the masks, weren't mandatory, but Mal and I going food shopping together, we were like, okay, we need to quarantine away from my aunt where she. We don't know, it's attack. We it's attacking older people and they're like, she's home. She's not really interacting with the world. So we're the outside factors that can hurt her. So we're just not going to physically interact with each other as little as we can. So it got to a point where Amanda, you were by choice. You decided that you needed to remove yourself from your family. So it wouldn't be. Malori and I chose to try and stay as far away from her as possible as we could. And then there were days where like Malori would be exposed to somebody. So she would quarantine herself in her room. I was somebody I knew that I had interacted with at work tested positive. So I was like, I'm walking around the house in a mask. I'm going to eat dinner in the dining room while everybody else eats in the kitchen, like all of that was happening and it did put a strain on. Parts of our relationship, but at the end of the day, we were doing it at a place of love. So that self isolation that we had, it has, it didn't affect us hugely, but we got it down to days until there was a a vaccine where we. Safely hug each other. So yeah that's. Justine. How about you guys?

Justine: [00:42:51] I've heard a lot of from, I guess the news and from my colleagues as well. Obviously adjusting to this new living situation, it's causing a lot of issues with families because now you're constantly in each other's faces and you taking up each other's space and it's, and for some people you don't have that space to, to work from home. Yeah, I wanted to see how it was for you guys, because it could really. Being forced to live with each other, like that can really make or break relationships.  But for my situation, because I was living with. A roommate at the time. And we were both working as well. We did have our own we did have like my room, I just set up a table and worked in my room majority of the day. And then she worked in the living room majority of the day. So when we would be done with work, we would just have dinner and watch TV. So for us, it really wasn't. A huge difference in the living situation, we didn't get on each other's nerves or anything like that. I think it was working out pretty well. And then when we went out to get groceries, we would plan it and just work it out. , I don't think  we got on each other's nerves and I guess also with agreeing with what we wanted to do, because with the lockdown lightening up, we're like, okay, we're not going to go to the restaurants right away, just because everyone's going to flock over there. But we did go to the beach, like three. Weekends in a row. Cause it was just so hot. And at least we're able to be socially distant from people. So I think, I feel like I had a really good situation where I was just living with one other person and we respected each other's boundaries and really didn't get in each other's way. And obviously, Worried about all of my family members, because majority of them are nurses. And I was, thinking about Tiffany because she works in the hospital. Obviously, Taylor, your sister is thinking about everybody. Who's got family members friends who are working in the hospital. So I'm like, it's inevitable that they're going to get COVID. And so we're just going to have to prepare for that when it does. That's how I was feeling. Yeah.

Taylor: [00:45:19] Did any of your, I know you did work throughout the whole pandemic, but did any of your work relationships changed behind? 

Justine: [00:45:24] It's I would say we're probably like less catching up because when you're at work, in the office, you, and when you guys were telling me that you get, you're getting distracted by people and catching up. I remember spending one day. B just acknowledging how much time you're spent on catching up and how much you're doing productive work and how much you're being distracted because people come in and out and I'm like, huh? If you work, if you were from home or if you have less people in the office, there are less distractions and it is better. And same feeling that you had Taylor, I'm like, Why do we need all these people in the office? Or why don't we just work from home, but then you miss the interactions. It's great to catch up. Amanda said, it was great to catch up with people because. Again, like Amanda said, you, you don't realize the interactions that  you miss until you don't have them. And so I love catching up with my colleague who we shared the same office, because she's like my mentor as well. And  my work mom. And so it's just nice to get advice and just to talk about things with her. And we didn't do as much catching up when we moved to working from home. And I acknowledged that she did make an effort to catch up, but I'm just like, for some reason I would just be like yeah. Let's, let's get to work. So it's just, yeah. That's how it changed a little bit. I think I was actually less sociable. Even though people did try to make that effort into catching up because also it's this is what I do every day. It's a routine.  There's no difference. Other than workout, work, dinner, watch Netflix or something. So I'd say that it changed in that aspect.

Taylor: [00:47:15] Kind of makes sense. Yeah.

Justine: [00:47:23] So now that especially in New Jersey or the U S  is having less and less restrictions going back to somewhat of a normal way, which I still think that you should still wear masks and all that stuff, but.  How do you think your friendships and your relationships will change once the pandemic is deemed over. Do you think that we would go back to how we were initially and really not chat as much? I mean, I can see this, even with my pen pals during the pandemic. Obviously, pen pals, we would message each other or write letters to each other very frequently. Every two weeks we would, message each other. And now it's like spanning one to two months, even three months where I'm not sending them letters or they're not sending me because their life is going back to normal or they're working and all that other stuff. And they have more, more time to do other things versus going back to this because they don't feel as lonely and want to reach out to somebody. And, again I'm not messaging them back and I'm like, I need to get to my pen pals. I miss talking to them, but life is happening. So that's where I can see okay, the pandemic is somewhat over for them or like they're getting back to normal because I haven't heard from them in a very long 

Amanda: [00:48:53] time.

I guess in terms of relationships with ours, I think it might be like if we were to, it'd be a little harder now I think to try and plan things, because now that the world is opening up again, it's like, all right we're gonna be out and about on our own doing our own thing now, as opposed to before we stuck in doors. So it was like, we knew we'd be able to meet up like virtually, at least. And So I think that'll change a bit probably in terms of work, probably not much will change there. Except for maybe I won't speak to them as much just because it's oh, I have it. Hasn't been like a month as I seen you or whatever.

Justine: [00:49:29] So you won't feel like the need to catch up with them? 

Amanda: [00:49:32] Not as often. Like it won't, I'll probably see them at least once a week now. And in terms of family it'll probably be better because now we won't all be cooped up in here. We can all go out, like it has been actually getting better because my mom's going back to doing her church things. My sister's going out back out to do whatever she does. I have no idea. My dad doesn't leave this house regardless. So that's not what, it's all. It is what it is. And me like before the pandemic, like when I needed to get away from them, I would just take walk outside and I'd just go like to a store, any store within walking distance. And so I'll just, we continue doing that. 

Justine: [00:50:08] Okay. Taylor. 

Taylor: [00:50:09] I think I'm going to see more of my extended family now. Cause that was one thing that definitely changed because of the pandemic. I've gone a year without seeing certain family members like that was a big part of my life is visiting family and going and seeing different people like all over New Jersey and some in Pennsylvania. Once life goes back to normal, we'll be able to pick up more on that. Cause  people have gotten married if people moved, there's been so many changes in the past year, but not being able to physically see these people and be like, oh my God, what's new dah. And even  the, I have to say those because I don't like talking on the phone. Those interactions with those family members have been relegated to social media. So I'm Facebook stalking my family or just Hey, oh my God. Commenting on pictures. But those are people that I would see, like once a month, once every two months at a cookout, barbecue, something. Those are things that are going to come back into it. And I will have that. I think I, I interacted more with my friends in the past year than I did my extended family members outside of four or five family members. So that's. 

Justine: [00:51:23] Which other normal basis, it's the other way around. 

Taylor: [00:51:26] Yeah. Normally I'm telling you guys, sorry, I can't go, my cousin's having a barbecue or I'm going over to this. I'm going over this a great aunt's house or something like that. All of that flipped because we, there were elderly family members and  we don't want to ex we'd feel bad, exposing them to anything. And now that'll go back. I dunno. I hope I can maintain. I hope. And this is a strong hope I can continue to maintain my friendships at the level they are now. That's my goal knowing myself. I'm going to drop it because I am. It just always happens. I try really hard and you guys know, and then something will happen and I have to just put that out. People, I don't immediately have to interact with, for work or within my family for a month. And then I'll pick that stuff back up and be like, yeah, sorry guys. I'm a crappy friend, but you guys already knew that going into this, but yeah, I think that will, I think for, I think we'll still be. 

Justine: [00:52:30] We'll be cool. Yeah. Honestly there really wouldn't. Other than you  and Amanda, there really wouldn't be any change for us because I am in London. So we can't even physically see each other again, other than you and Amanda, where you guys can go to brunch, but hopefully. If, If they allow you guys to travel all the way to London, maybe you could eventually visit me 

Taylor: [00:52:55] 20, 20. All right. AstraZeneca 

Justine: [00:52:59] people. They also, I just need to get the vaccination rollout just much faster. 

  Thanks for listening to United AAF as friends with us. 

Taylor: [00:53:12] If you enjoyed today's episode, please like comment and share a conversation with your friends and family on our social media pages. 

Amanda: [00:53:18] Join us next time. As we talk about food in our cultures, we did it. .